The "not-so-much" Biggest Losers

By special request from Minnehaha Mama, I am posting an email that I sent to all of my siblings and their spouses back in January. Let me give you a little background on what provoked this email. Sister J in December proposed that the family have a "Biggest Loser" contest. Each married couple would be a team and whichever couple lost the most percentage weight over their starting weight would win. After the end date (April 1), they said they would all go out to a Manny's steak dinner...losers pay. Me, not wanting to feel left out of this fun, family competition, volunteered to be the diet coach. I saw it my duty to live up to this role and offer encouragement to these "losers." Now that the contest is over, I can say that it was the most pathetic attempt at weight loss I have seen! Perhaps my coaching tips were not up to par. That given, I have included my revised list in red line.

Hey Losers,

Hmmmm...some challenges, huh? I think you all have to find a diet that is tailored to your needs and weight loss plan. Some of you may want something stricter than the others. My biggest challenge for you all is to start making some lifestyle changes.

For instance, the "no chips" rule should be happening all the time, not just for one week. Instead of thinking of this is a "diet" that ends on April 1st, think of it as a lifestyle change where you can get into some healthy habits that will stay with you long-term. There is no point in losing weight short-term if you are just going to go back to your regular eating habits in the spring, right? Try finding some healthy alternatives to chips and other bad foods. This is not to say you should never eat them, but I think you should really, really, try to cut them out of daily diet. I'll throw out some random thoughts that should always apply and hopefully at least some of these will appeal to all of you.

1. Throw out your crappy food. Just throw it out or give it to your kids or something. Don't even buy it, because it is just tempting you by being there. If your kids eat this stuff, keep a separate cabinet just for them. You need to stock up on lots and lots of food that is good for you that you can eat as alternatives. (Baby carrots, snap peas, cereal, cottage cheese, grapes, nuts, turkey, ham, yogurts, hard boiled eggs, prunes (tastes good, very nutritious...and they help "drain" you out) If you haven't already, get your kids involved...if they know what you should and shouldn't be eating, they'll help discipline you. Minnehaha Mama and Eric got their 4 year old son interested in cooking and...Whala! They didn't even WANT to eat his creations!

2. Drink lots of liquids. Water, milk, gatorade. This fills you up...thus you eat less. Drink a glass of something before and during every meal. Try the liquid diet...may I recommend Happy Hour at Figlio's? $2 beers and you drink right through dinner!

3. Sit-ups, push-ups, stretching and leg lifts are great exercises to dowhen watching tv. You can even do the girl push-ups on your knees...still agreat work-out. Butt squeezes are great when you're driving. Do them until your butt is sore. Seriously. Use hand weights when you walk on the treadmill. I still like butt squeezes...but try them while blogging now as we will probably get more in that way. Blogging butt squeezes!

4. Treat yourself. Nothing wrong with a little treat every once in awhile, but be smart about it. Try light ice-cream or frozen yogurt, but get in the habit of getting the low-fat kind. Edy's has great 1/2 the fat ice cream that tastes delectable. Scoop it up in a mug instead (you'll have less, but it still feels like a full portion). Ginger snaps are good too because they satisfy your sweet tooth and help with digestion. Or have sugar free hot chocolate with milk. Bailey's over ice, white russian...just a little nightcap. And if you have enough, you can pass out and won't get those midnight munchies!

5. Be creative with condiments. For example, I made tunafish with spicy mustard, pickles and olives the other day and ate it like a salad. It was yummy and filling. Bread does taste good without butter! Put mustard instead of mayo on your sandwiches. Put salsa on your salad instead of dressing. Try applesauce on an english muffin. Hey, I still have fun with this one...but might add sweet potato and Prego sauce to the list.

6. Be active in the little things you do. Take the dog for a walk, take the stairs instead of the elevator, run down the driveway to get the mail. Even if you find yourself with limited time for a work-out, 10 minutes of anything somewhat active is better than nothing. These little things make a difference! Who am I to talk? I live across the street from my office and still drive to work!
Multi-task...again, blogging butt squeezes.

7. Music. Sometimes I put my iPod on and listen to the Pointer Sister's "Jump" and I dance around my condo like Hugh Grant in Love Actually while I am cleaning. Upbeat music helps in anything you are doing...walking, dancing, sports, etc. Find some songs/music that work for you. Black Eyed Peas get me going...I actually ran all the way around Lake Calhoun yesterday because their songs pumped me up so much. I felt like Rocky. Other recommended tunes include: Mary J. Blige, Sara Groves

8. Hang out with a friend/relative who is active. Exercising is always more fun when you can do it with someone. Find a racketball buddy, join a volleyball league, or set up a time to walk with a friend every Wednesday. I know you are competing with each other, but maybe you can find activities you can do together. Remember, I am always available for walks, runs. Anyone want to take a Cardio Kickboxing class with me Mondays at 6pm in St.Louis Park? How about a Belly Dancing class on Wednesdays? Didn't I tell you about belly dancing? If anyone had taken me up on this offer, you would've been able to make fun of me while getting a great ab work-out!

I can keep going, but I think this is good for now. Hope this helps! I support you all and am available for personal consultations any time! Hey...why didn't anyone take me up on this?

Extreme Home Makeover: Sorority Edition

As a follow-up to my post a few weeks back about my tornado hit sorority house, I wanted to share the latest news I have heard.

Apparently, structural engineers surveyed the house and recommended it be demolished. Unfortunately, this looks to be about right. Which leaves the AXO girls with a few options: 1) Sell off the land and buy or build a new house elsewhere on campus 2) Buy an existing building that could be used as a sorority house...or 3) Become Extreme Home Makeover's next project.

The above picture was taken when the girls made a try-out tape for Extreme Makover's show. Now, I have never really watched this show from beginning to end, but I have caught the tail-end of it many times (since it's on before Desperate Housewives on Sundays). It seems to me there is a common theme to the show. Some family with lots of kids, one who's terminally ill and one who's in a wheelchair, simply can't afford to all live in anything bigger than a one bedroom home because of the hospital bills. So Extreme Makeover comes in, builds a kick-ass huge house and saves the day. And without fail, everybody cries at the end.

I was trying to imagine what the execs at Extreme Makeover where thinking when they saw this tape from AXO. What I heard was that all these girls stood in front of the destroyed house and chanted their recruitment song, which goes:

A-X-O is the only way to go,
We are the best,
Forget the Rest
That's all you've got to know

Then the house President stepped forward and told what happened to the house. I'm not sure what else she said, but I don't know what this will do for ABC's ratings.

I mean, will the execs really feel bad for the chanting Big Ten sorority girls, whose 14,000 sq. ft. historic home, originally built for the University's President, has been destroyed by a natural disaster? Or, will they see this as an opportunity to do something original on the show, and risk being criticized for condoning Greek life? How do they turn away another story of a single mother who needs a house for her 3 kids with leukimia in favor of 100 upper-middle class sorority girls who have a strong and patronizing alumni network?

I wonder if on the try-out tape, they mentioned that the AXOs hold a Chili Dog Fair every fall to raise money for a local girl who has a rare kidney disease, or that we have a billiards tournament to raise money for Domestic Violence Intervention and Prevention, and volunteer at the battered women's shelters? Or that year after year the AXOs are among the highest number of participants and groups raising the most money for the University's Dance Marathon, a 24 hour dance-a-thon that raises money for kids with cancer for the Children's Miracle Network...or that the family the AXOs sponsored was so overwhelmed with support, and hospital visits to their little girl, Alissa (who has since gone into remission) that they were given several more families to direct their efforts to....or that the AXOs consistently have the highest participation in other group's philanthropies to support their altruisms?

I don't know. That's just what I would've mentioned if I were in charge of making this tape. Then again, I haven't been there in four years, so I don't know what has changed. But, good luck girls! I understand you're worth it, even if the rest of the world doesn't. If they do pick you and you get a pimped-out sorority house, I'm sure it will be a real tear-jerker show.

People Watching...or Watched by People

One of my favorite things about living by Lake Calhoun is the people watching. Being out there on a daily basis, I think I've seen all creative forms of exercise there are. There's the typical dad running with the three-wheeled stroller, the couple holding hands on a walk, the lady walking her miniature puppy, the man carrying his dog while he rollerblades, the shirtless men's volleyball league ........................................................ Oh, sorry. What was I saying?

Today alone, I saw a 280 lb. black man in an orange sweatsuit power-walking. And I'm talking about in the way a woman would do it...complete with full armswings. I also saw a woman in a business suit on rollerblades as if she had just gotten of work and swapped her pumps for her blades. Then I saw a man sitting in a contorted position in the grass...meditating...oblivious to anyone around him.

Then there are the regulars...the older mafia-looking gentleman with the big belly who walks around with a wife beater on always looking like he's out of breath. I haven't seen him since last fall. He must've decided to let it his hair go gray over the winter since it was brown last I saw him. There's a couple that I always see hanging out by a tree with their great dane, which still freaks me out every time I see it. It looks like a horse! Marathon man runs everyday and usually laps me a couple of times and we wave when we see each other now.

It kind of hit me today as I was rollerblading, that as much as I enjoy people watching and chuckling at these crazy people, that "people watching" really is a two-way street (or in this case, sidewalk). I'm just as much a victim of being watched as anyone else. This came to me today in particular as I was rollerblading, listening to my tunes, and singing...yes, singing. Not just humming along, but full out singing to Gavin DeGraw's, Chariot, while on rollerblades. It's such a feel good song, I was singing loudly, not really realizing how loud I really was. As I became aware of smirks on the faces of people I passed, I recalled other times I have been "watched by people."

Like the time I found myself recalling something funny and laughing out loud to myself (read my bio if this confuses you), while I was walking by myself. People who know me, know this is normal for me, but when I subject my Calhoun colleagues to these outbursts, they might think I have some screws loose. And I know people have caught me in this behavior because I have seen them look at me and chuckle. Then I get embarrassed and laugh more. Oh, well. I've always thought of my walks and rollerblades around the lake to be "Ashley time", but sometimes I forget people are watching.

Weekend Highlights

The water in my building was turned off...while I was showering...mid-shampoo lathering. I finished rinsing by pouring a Brita water pitcher over my head.

After a night out on Friday, I was escorted to my car via a shoulder-ride (not piggyback, but shoulder-ride) down Hennepin Ave. in uptown.

I sneezed approximately 257 times.

What did you do over the weekend?

Stepping Stones

I think I am the only person my age (or older) who still celebrates their "half birthday". People usually stop clarifying their age in "halves" when they're about 8. That extra "half" when you're a child is pretty significant. "I'm not 4, I'm four and a half!" For me, every April 21st means that I am only 6 months away from my next birthday...or 6 months past my last birthday, depending on how I look at it. This was an especially significant half birthday for me because I am now 26 1/2 and have only 6 months left of my "mid-twenties". Yep, in 6 months, I leave the age bracket that categorizes me with 24 year olds and I join the ranks of "almost 30 year olds".

So what's a suddenly single 26 1/2 year old girl to do? Did you catch that? Subtle, I know, but you read correctly. Yeah, my condo is off the market...and Ashley's back on the market. Looking at offers from local residents only! Many of you have said, "you seem to be doing amazingly well." Here's my secret.

In my 10+ years of dating, I've realized that each experience teaches me something new. I sometimes think that when something great comes into my life so randomly, that it must be fate. But really, each of these people are just stepping stones, bringing me to the final destination. Each person in my life serves a purpose...maybe they come in to teach me a lesson, or to make me a better person. Maybe they give me a new experience, and perhaps I'm there to serve a purpose in their life. Isn't it weird to think how everyday decisions we make, whether big or small, can change our life paths? Think about how many things have to line up to get you to be where you are today and how one thing along the way could've thrown everything in a different direction. It's amazing to think about, but also comforting to believe that these decisions and events are all just part of God's master plan.

With that belief, all I can say is that there is no use in trying to figure things out and to know that it just happened for a reason. I have lots to be happy about. I'm simply taking what I learned from this experience and moving along to find my next stepping stone. Because I know that each one is bringing me closer to a gem. (But, good lord...how many stepping stones can you give a girl?)

To the multiple offers I've received from my guy friends to be my "rebound," I say, "Thanks fellas, but no rebound necessary. I'm not really feeling that vulnerable." I guess I feel lucky. I've had some wonderful people come into my life who have given me some wonderful experiences. And to think that they've all just been stepping stones bringing me to something even more incredible?! Wow! I don't know what lies ahead for me...but damn, it's going to be good!

Sky, Lance, and Paul Douglas

I read a blog post on Meteorologist Paul Douglas and it provoked me to write this story.

Last summer I worked on a condo project set to be built downtown right next to WCCO-TV. Paul Douglas and his wife stopped into our grand opening event and I had the pleasure of speaking with them about buying opportunities, all the while trying to be professional and treat him as a normal human being by not really acknowleding that he is a local celebrity. We corresponded through a couple of emails regarding the building afterwards. I noticed that his email was listed under the name Doug Kruehoffer (yet his emails were signed "Paul Douglas"). I quickly realized that "Paul" was actually his TV name, so I politely inquired in one email what he would prefer me to call him, Doug or Paul? I figured this was the right thing to do, being that we were working in a professional setting and "Doug" was really his name.

Skip to another story. My dad, who's a complete character, was a theater major in college. At some point when he was a young man, he gave himself a stage name, being that he was an actor of sorts. My entire life my dad's alias has been "Lance Sterling." Growing up, we never once had a dinner reservation under our real last name. It was always under the "Sterling Party" or "Lance S." My friends have even resorted to calling him "Lance." Since I share my dad's strange sense of amusement, I decided that I needed a stage name as well and assumed the name Sky Mackay. I use this name most often when random dudes try to pick me up. If I'm not interested, they don't get my real name. Or, if I am traveling, meet people along the way that I know I am never going to see again...why not be "Sky"? Since my dad actually performed in the theater, he referred to his alias as his "stage name." I did the same.

Back to Paul Douglas. While I believe it was the right etiquette to ask what he preferred to be called, my statements after that question were probably not. You see, I thought it would be good to build rapport with Paul/Doug by letting him know that we have something in common. After all, he was thinking of buying a condo from me. I wish I still had the email I sent so I could copy and paste it here, but I wrote something like, "I have a stage name too. I sometimes go by Sky Mackay." Now, Sky isn't a trampy name by any means. It's not like I called myself "Alotta Fagina" or anything. But in hindsight, I question whether I should have used the phrase "stage name" since that might imply that I actually use it on stage. And, um, I guess there are other forms of entertainment performed by women on stage that aren't theatrical. You get my drift. Afterall, who would really mention having a stage name if it was just for fun? Me. Yep. Me. Real professional, Ashley.

Paul/Doug never did reply to that email. I like to pretend that it was just because he was not that interested in living in a condo that overlooked his work building...but it could've been because he got a little freaked out that the young woman realtor he talked to decided to mention that she had a STAGE NAME...and he didn't really know how to interpret that. There are a lot of wackos out there afterall. And I'm afraid he thinks I'm one of them!

Great Scott!

Okay, so we all know Tomkat had their baby. I bet Katie Holmes never thought that her teenage crush would actually end up fathering her first baby. So it got me thinking....

If I realized my girlhood dream as Katie Holmes has, I would've ended up with Scott Erickson (MLB pitcher, former Twin), who I became obsessed with during the 1991 World Series. Huge crush. It wasn't until 10 years later that he ranked as one of People magazines Most Beautiful People, so I like to think I discovered him first. I was 12, he was 24 and he was supposed to wait for me to grow up so we could live happily ever after. Unfortunately, it didn't work that way. He got traded and ended up marrying Lisa Guerrero, who posed topless for P***boy in January (I haven't seen it...just read about it)! Needless to say, I never stood a chance. And I don't dare use the actual name of the magazine I am referring to above...you never know who's scanning these things. Maybe it's a good thing it worked out that way 'cause I think Katie got the short end of the stick.

Now Accepting Referrals for Million Dollar Home Buyers

Tuesday is my favorite day of the workweek because it is the official Realtor Tour day. This is when all the houses that have gone on the market in the past week are on parade for agents to preview. Basically it is an opportunity for us realtors to scope out new listings for our buyers and be on the cutting edge of real estate property. So, if you see a bunch of realtors cruisin' around on a Tuesday afternoon, we're just looking at other people's homes and eating catered lunch. Rough day on the job, huh?

The flaw with this system, in my opinion, is that homes of all price ranges are on tour at the same time. Since I work mostly with first-time home buyers, naturally you would think I would be looking in my clients' best interests and checking out homes in the "first-time home buyer" price range, right? Wrong. If you had the opportunity to go have lunch at fancy homes on lakes on a weekly basis, wouldn't you? The problem, now 3 1/2 years into regularly touring mansions on Tuesdays, is that I have become the multi-million dollar homes' worst critic. This is not to say I haven't had my jaw drop to the floor seeing some of these places. But, I find myself playing the game of, "If I had as much money as it costs to buy this house, would I buy it?" More and more often, I find myself saying, "no". It's as if I have seen TOO MANY of these houses that my taste is becoming TOO discriminating and I am becoming some sort of mansion snob! This coming from a girl who happily lives in a 750 sq. ft. condo.

For instance, today I saw a house listed for $2.8M. Beautiful, very European turn-of the century house near Lake of the Isles. Every one else walking through was drooling, but I walked away muttering to my co-worker, "master bedroom closets are too small and kitchen was too closed off from the rest of the house." Not to mention that the refrigerator door was made of glass. Is that some rich posh thing to do? I mean, who wants to see all their food---crusty condiments, leftover take-out boxes?! (Mom, if you are reading this, I definitely wouldn't recommend the glass door for you). And, if I'm going to spend $2.8M on a house, it better be ON the lake, not three blocks off it. Wait until you hear my review on the $4.9M house I saw a couple weeks ago. Piece of junk. But, it was on the lake, so that's the price you pay...literally. I definitely would buy the one I saw for $10M on Lake Minnetonka...so don't think I throw a hand in the face of them all.

My conclusion, is that I am just working with the wrong types of buyers. I really should be tapping into the ever so large pool of upper bracket buyers because that would be much more compatible with my Tuesday touring preferences. And with my expertise at valuing these estate-like properties, I'll take them to the best $4.9M home there is! That being said, I am now welcoming referrals for multi-million dollar home buyers. So don't feel like you have to hold back anymore. Send 'em my way.

Belly Dancing Fool

I recently took a belly dancing class. Inspired by the hula dancing I've watched before, I figured belly and hula were one in the same. They're not. While hula dancers are hip-py, belly dancers are, well, jiggly...at least that's what I gathered from the other full-figured women who were in the class with me. Let's just say now I know how the lone little chubby girl in my ballet class felt.
Who knew that belly dancing actually required a belly? I certainly did not. I don't know the ideal body type for becoming a world-class belly dancer, but based on the fact I was the awkward looking one of the bunch, the favor is heavily weighted (no pun intended) to the type that can "snake their fat rolls" and "shimy their soft tissue" as the instructor so nicely euphemised. Which by the way, she did excellently! Maybe belly dancing should be therapy for girls with eating disorders. They'll realize they can never become accomplished belly dancers until they have some jiggle. Next time, I think I am going to try for hula lessons. I mean, I used to be really good with the hula hoop so that's gotta be good for something, right?

Home Sweet Home

Growing up, I told my parents they couldn't move until I was in college. Breezy Pt. Rd. was such a familiar and happy place for me that I didn't want to leave it. While most couples usually downsize when they become empty nesters, mine upgraded to, I have to say, a much cooler house than what I grew up in. Go figure. I still drive by my old house on occasion, where the tulips my mom planted are no more, and where there has consistently been a "For Rent" sign in the yard. The neighbors bought the house as a rental--probably until they decide to tear it down. Where's the love? Where's the nice young family creating memories there? Where's the dad and daughter playing catch in the driveway? And the dog pushing rocks around with her nose? Where are the kids hiding in the laundry shoot in a game of hide-and-go seek? And sleeping up in the loft on Christmas Eve? Where's the girl practicing dance routines in her reflection in the big picture windows in the living room? Just like my family used to do. I drove by on Christmas Eve once a few years ago, and there wasn't even a big Christmas tree in the window! Maybe there were Jewish renters living there...not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm just saying the house looked unloved.

About the same time my parents moved, I found a new house of my own in Iowa City...the Alpha Chi Omega house. I only lived there for two years of college, but created about as many memories there as I did in 19 years of living in the house I grew up in.

I moved into this sorority house with 45 "sisters", which was quite a change from the seven years previous of living with just my parents. One semester, I lived in a room with 8 girls. Seriously. We had one sleeping room filled with bunkbeds that we slept in every night. Someone was always snoring, or talking in their sleep, or falling off the bunkbed...okay, that last one was me. We had so much fun in those two years, that my friends and I filled up three entire poster boards filled with funny quotes of things that happened. We played practical jokes, combated bats in the house, scared off crazies who tried to sneak in and steal our underwear, got ready for dates and formals together, ate dinner every night with our house mom, gathered in the lounge to watch 90210 and Dawson's Creek, had post dinner dancing jams in our rooms, hug time on the couch, and sunbathed on the tiered deck. We had our chapter meetings in the basement, and fraternities came to serenade us in the foyer. There was always someone to chat with coming home from class and laughter was nonstop.

My sorority sisters and I always enjoy going back to the house when we're back in Iowa City. Memories come flooding back as soon as we step in front of the three-story tudor house on Washington St. Sadly, a tornado ripped through Iowa City last weekend and seemed to touch down right on my sorority house. Word is that the damage is so severe, it is beyond repairing what is remaining.

What is to become of my childhood house, I don't know. But I don't get the feeling that family fun, as I knew it, is being carried out there. And while I know another sorority house will be found and the girls will create memories in a new spot, I am most sad that my legacies can't continue to carry out the same girlish goofiness within the same walls that I did. It's not the physical structure of these houses that I miss, but that fact that I can't go back, revisit them and take comfort in the fact that new people will be loving them and creating memories in them for years and years to come.

Dinner for One

Now that I'm approaching my first full year of living alone in my one bedroom condo, I've found the most common question asked of me is, "What do you usually do for dinner?" Most of the people asking me this live in a house full of kids where finding meals to suit the entire family is important, and probably also difficult. I think they are just trying to reflect on those days, like..."Tell me again what it's like when you don't have to feed anyone else?" My response, usually, is that I sometimes eat out with friends, sometimes grab something from Noodles or Subway, and sometimes I make salad or chicken or spaghetti or something. This is all true...usually. But a more accurate response would often be, "Well, last night I nuked a sweet potato in the microwave for 5 minutes, covered it in spaghetti sauce and ate it." It's really good, I swear. I just have never really been bold enough to tell people the truth. And the few that I have told haven't exactly asked me for my recipe. Don't get me wrong, I do like to cook...stir fry, pasta, stew, you name it. The problem is, anytime I make these things just for myself, I end up with leftovers to last me the whole week. I really liked that chili I made, but it got kind of old on the fourth day.

Since I am a pretty healthy eater, my solution is to find good meals that work for one person. Sometimes that means grazing throughout the evening on grapes, cheese slices, peanut butter on a spoon, carrots and popcorn. Sometimes it means making chicken on the George Foreman at 6pm, making rice a half hour later and having green beans for a midnight snack. And sometimes it means having buffalo wings with a beer at happy hour and then coming home and having a bowl of cereal. Yeah, that's right.

This is not to say that when I do have a family to feed that I am going to serve them my random food preparations...like my special cottage cheese salad. But I am just enjoying this time in my life to do it however I want. So how am I supposed to answer the question, "what do I usually do for dinner?"

We all have our cuisine quirks, right? My mom used to get us to eat broccoli by dipping it in mayonnaise. I thought this was a normal way to eat it for a long time. So, before you judge my sweet potatos and spaghetti sauce, fess up. But, if you do try my recipe, use Prego Garden Combination. Good stuff. Hey, it sounds a lot better than what my brother says my nephew prepares in his post "Making Soup."